You're going to say to yourself, "wow, this is a really long post. Do I really want to read the whole thing?" But let me tell you, if you have children, or ever plan on having children, or are done with children and you want to laugh at someone going through parenting now, this post is well worth your time.
So, yesterday I was at my friend Aggie's house. Ag happens to have a little girl who is a few months older than Sydney and as it turns out they are best friends. Oh, and Ag lives next door to me. Any parent out there knows that if two little girls are missing and silent for over 5 minutes, one is bound to find some sort of mischief. As soon as Ag and I realized the lack of ruckus (which is the norm. with those two together) we went on the hunt for a couple of 3-year-olds. We found them giggling in Ag's room sitting on her bed. Why were they giggling you ask? Because they had plastered their hair with Vaseline. That's right, I said petroleum-based-gross-greasy Vaseline. Admittedly, when Agnes and I found the girls we couldn't help by chuckle a little ourselves wondering what in the world would make them think it's fun, or even OK to slather 3/4 of a big Vaseline container in your hair.
Not great pictures, but you'll get the point:
Let me tell you though, neither Sydney nor I were giggling or chuckling at the end of the night, 15 hair washes later. *side note: Sydney detests having her hair washed.When we got home I first tried using dish soap twice to see if it would "cut the grease" as dish soap claims. No dice. I shampooed and washed 3 times after that. Imagine my surprise when it looked like I hadn't tried a thing to get the Vaseline out. (This puts the hair washings total to 5 so far). After this I gave Sydney her dinner to get her energy up and decided to google how to get Vaseline out of hair. Several people suggested using corn starch claiming that it would clump up and absorb the Vaseline. I tried this twice and then followed up with another 3 shampooings (Hair washings total: 10).
One seriously depleted shampoo, box of corn starch, parent losing faith in google, and unhappy child later, Syd's hair was still saturated. AHHHH!!!! A bunch of other people on the Internet said that baby oil works. I thought to myself, "how could putting something oily on top of something greasy help?" But honestly, it couldn't have gotten any worse, so I let Sydney take another breather while I called around to find some baby oil. Luckily my sister-in-law Crystal had some (she only lives 2 1/2 blocks from us). By the time I told Sydney she had to get in the bath again so we could try one more thing to get the "yucky stuff" out of her hair, Sydney was saying in almost-tears, "Mommy, my no want another bath. My all done." I explained gently that no, she wasn't done because she put Vaseline in her hair, which she shouldn't have done. To which she replied, "I NEVER going to do that again". (Even though you know 6 months down the line, she's gonna forget that promise).
After 2 baby oil applications, one more dish soap washing, and 2 more shampooings, Sydney's hair resembled somewhat close to normal... (really, baby oil?). Oh, and that reaches the total 15 washings.
After I got her out and dried her off I spent at least 15 minutes with a fine toothed comb, combing out chunks of Vaseline. I thought her hair looked pretty good when I was done.....
After I got her out and dried her off I spent at least 15 minutes with a fine toothed comb, combing out chunks of Vaseline. I thought her hair looked pretty good when I was done.....
And then this morning when Sydney woke up and came out of her room I noticed home homeless she looked with stringy, still greasy hair that never looks fully dry. I pulled her hair in a tight braid for church and hoped everyone thought I'd put product in it or something. I seriously think it's going to take a month for her hair to get back to normal.
Moral of the story: don't leave Vaseline around where kids can get it, because you will spend your night wishing that the person who invented Vaseline would have never been born.
